In honor of Thanksgiving week, HipHopDX carries on a tradition with our seventh annual Turkey Awards. In a year that has produced amazing music and just as much fuckery, there was plenty to work with. White girls defending their use of the n-word, Ray J’s Money Team, Lil’ Kim’s claims of selling over 100,000 copies of her mixtape through Paypal; we have all laughed and face-palmed our foreheads just as much as we nodded along to the beats. We’ll honor the music next month with our Year-End Awards, but today we celebrate the turkeys.
1. The “Silent Movie Villain, Twirling His Moustache” Award – Lil Wayne
For threatening to kidnap and duct-tape a pregnant Beyonce.
2. The “Lifetime Television Movie Marathon” Award (Presented By Meredith Baxter Birney) – Drake
For making an album that any menopausal mother would be proud of in Take Care.
3. The Porn Valley “Not On My Face” Award – Yung L.A. and Gucci Mane
For expressing their creativity with facials, since one’s music is sucking, and the other has never made any music.
4. The “I Lost Weight And Why People Love Me” Award (Presented By Jonah Hill) – Fat Joe
Good for your health, bad for your wealth.
5. The “Please Keep Your Shirt On. Yes, Both Of You.” Award – Rick Ross And Kreayshawn
We feel the same way about your press photos and leaked nudes as we do about your beef: keep it to yourself.
6. The “Use A Coaster, It’ll Leave Rings On The Table” Award – Lil Wayne’s Tha Carter IV
We. Waited. Three. Years. For. This.
7. The “Dame Grease” Award – V-Nasty’s Hair
For when it looks like you showered in a bus station bathroom.
8. The “Eddie Murphy, Good Samaritan” Award – To Mister Cee
The gay rapper remains a mystery. The gay deejay not-so-much.
9. The “Say Anything Boombox” Award – Consequence
Breaking up is hard to do. He’ll never forget the way you shivered during “Spaceship.”
10. The “Tracy Morgan: What Gay Bashing Means to Me” Award – Jakk Frost
The Beard Gang ain’t fuckin’ with no queer thang.
11. The “I Didn’t Know This Job Had a Dress Code” Award – Danny Brown
If 50 Cent sent M.O.P. to the gym, please believe he wasn’t little Big Perm’s nephew on the Unit.
12. The Tyrone Biggums Award – Black Rob
Some albums are crack. Game Tested, Streets Approved was just crack-induced.
13. The “Botulism Infested Beef” Award – Lil’ Kim
Kimberly started callin’ out names, but nobody listened. She could have used this time to learn to count.
14. The Fred Sanford “ ’lizabeth, I’m Comin’ To Join Ya!” Award – Rick Ross
We really hope that one of our favorite Miami rappers improves his diet, his rest and his lungs.
15. The “Uncle Rego Child Molester Mustache” Award – Big Sean
G.O.O.D’s latest sensation brought back truck jewels and ‘staches. We just hope he doesn’t collab with Jake One’s van.
16. The “Chinese Democracy” Award – Saigon’s Greatest Story Never Told
When you have to wait years and years for something you sometimes forget why you ever wanted it in the first place.
17. The “Lifetime Achievement” Award – 10 Year Anniversary Of Dr. Dre’s Detox Not Being Released
Dr. Dre is unable to accept this award. The award will be accepted by Hittman, Stat Quo, Slim da Mobster and Bishop Lamont.
18. The “Lindsey Lohan/Charlie Sheen Award – To DMX
The incumbant to the rapper-vs.-jail title Gucci Mane is going for.
19. The “Dr. Drew Is Saving a Place for You” Award – Beanie Sigel
The circle got smaller, and so have the chances of cleaning up.
20. The “Yeah, That’s Probably a Good Idea” Award – Tity Boy’s Name-Change to 2 Chainz
Who did this guy think he was, Rick Ross?
21. The My Super Sweet 16 Temper Tantrum Award – Chris Brown
Not so good morning, America.
22. The Wiz Khalifa Rolling Papers Award – The Outlawz
To all the cats who smoke a ‘Pac a day.
23. The Where’s Waldo Award – Earl Sweatshirt
Your crew needs you. Peace out from the Beach Boys on Kokomo.
24. The Sammi Sweatheart & Ronnie Award – Dr. Dre & The D.O.C.
Break up to make up, that’s all that they do. If Dre’s retiring, what will Tracy do?
25. The Wet Towel In The Locker Room Award – Fabolous & Ray J
Ray J’s done things WAY more pathetic than this to stay in the spotlight. Fab, what’s your excuse?
i love it
#14 was kinda fucked up
Number 6 was spot on. I lost this disc in my car about two days after purchasing it and I haven’t even cared to look for it. Shit was terrible.
lmao
damn, dude went the fuck in on that shit, thumbs up
LOL at the last one ahaha
biggest pussy-Pitbull for backing down to Lindsay Lohan, and trying to spin his stupid lyric into something good about her.
Cool list. LOL at the coaster demo…
#2,6,17.
lol at #15… I thought i was the only who thought that dude looked like a pedophile
To all the cats who smoke a ‘Pac a day.
LOL
#22
LOL
Lol Dr. Dre wit the lifetime achievement award haha but that shit really does need to come out already.
For making an album that any menopausal mother would be proud of in Take Care.
THAT CRACKED ME UP
2, 5, 6 & 17. this is like some “roast” type of shit, well done.
26. The “WTF Album” awards – Wiz Khalifa
Album: Rolling Papers
27. The “Thank Me” award – Big Sean
On Drake Taking His Flow (Supa Dupa), created 20 years ago by others rappers
Wow, never expected a hip hop site to drop something like this with the major amount of ass kissing they do the rest of the year. Funny stuff.
Never really seen this site do ass kissing
How often do you view it? Its been a Drake parade for the past few months advertising what he ate for breakfast to what he plans on throwing up for lunch.
it goes in spades, sometimes it gets all over Drake’s dick, then it’ll switch to gratituous Wayne or Rick Ross updates… T.I. had his fair share when he first stepped outta jail..
Don’t forget about Game when the R.E.D. album was droppin’. That was more annoying than Game’s bipolar antics!
Where that clown YADIG at? they talkin bout ya baby dady bitch #2
why would danny brown wanna be in G-unit anyway. danny brown dresses the way he wants because real g’s dont give a fuck, they just wear louie v and gucci because for some reason that is not gay.
only good person in g-unit their is banks. look who they signed Shawty lo and kidd kidd, i kid you not, fiddy signed a 35 year old rapper and a guy so bad that cash money released him. fiddy so out of touch with music he does not know what people are into. how about him spazzing over his Street King campaign. that deserves one of these awards.
30. The “I can’t believe grown men are cating like middle school girls” Award- Hip-Hop/R & B artists.
The twitter beefing among artists was embarrasing (Tyler The Creator, Chris Brown, The Game, Ice Burgundy, ect ect ect
31. The watch your back Award- Fat Joe
Joe Crakk said what MOST people with common sense have known and what most simpletons remain in denial about: entertainment industry is controlled by a gay mafia! (many pro athletes and entertainers are on the down low)
This
32. The Rick James (Dave Chappelle) “They Should’ve Never Gave You N!&&@$ Money!” Award- Kid Cudi, Wale, Tinie Tempah, & ect
Nike had people bidding RIDICULOUS amounts of money on those ugly @$$ Mag (Back To The Future) sneakers
LOL that was beautiful!
FUCKIN HATERS @ HHDX, CARTER 4 WAS A CLASSIC!! GET OFF THE BULLSHIT.
lololololol.. not at all.. that B*llsh*t
U MAD BRO?
Yea.. He mad!
HA! YOU CLOWN FINALLY THIS SITE GOT IT RIGHT 1,2,AND 6,
AAAAAAAAAAAW,,,, POOR PUSSY, LETS ALL TRY TO BE SENSITIVE TO THIS CLOWN AND REMIND HIM HOW MUCH OF A FAIRY WAYNE IS, 1,2,6, SAYS IT ALL BOUT YMCMB
This list was ass
Honestly the lamest thing I have ever read. What is a hip-hop news site that doesn’t suck ass?
I guess #16 went over yall head, but yeah that was the only one I read that made me chuckle. That lifetime achievement award one with Dr. Dre was funny as well. But yall need to work on your dissing skills, it felt like a sunday school virgin who never J-walked in his life made this list.
2. The Lifetime Television Movie Marathon Award (Presented By Meredith Baxter Birney) – Drake
For making an album that any menopausal mother would be proud of in Take Care.
come on that was HILARIOUS
wow this website is gettin wack.
They are so on point wit every1 this got me crackin up i swear……………………..
CHECK OUT THE MUSIC
http://soundcloud.com/inevitable-success/sets/taste-of-success
I remember when these were funny.
that shit about drake was too real, made for 50 year old white women music
All of these were lame as hell, and I’m usually the one trying to defend shit
the Dre one was sorta funny, I’ll give them that
They on point with your boy drake
Go take a bubble bath.
the drake, wayne, dr dre, and dmx shit was funny. Dr dre can’t accept it< classic.
rite
turrribleee
#22 was choice. Stay classy, HHDX. Hahaha.
Nothing negative to say about Kanye, Jay Z, Eminem or Beyonce though huh…fuck outta here.
Everyone you named has talent. Why would they put them on here when each one (minus Beyonce) put out bangin albums this year? Think about it as you bump that go to sleep music (Drake).
Right on about Take Queer and Carter 4 – fucking gay shit
my award was hilarious. shout out to you white geeks at hhdx. it really did make me laugh tho, pretty clever shit
Nothing worse then when someone seem to think they are funny but are not. Wackest thing i ever read on dx.
my classmate’s ex-wife makes $78 every hour on the computer. She has been fired for 5 months but last month her paycheck was $8804 just working on the computer for a few hours. Read about it on this site MakeCash4. c o m
Lmao, dudes in the c-section salty as hell. This was hilarious.
Kreayshawn looked good in them pics just sayin
Hello sir, we’ll be at your residence within the next 24 hours to arrest and detain you for child porn.
Detective Jack
We need to get Chris Hansen up in here!
This shit was on point.. I’d say 9 out of 10 were on the money. As far as you hating fucks on the site get off these dudes dick and get a fckn real hobby. The Carter was fckin garbage and the only reason Wayne is still around is cause these wack ass kids thinking “girl pants and lip rings is cute” fckn homo’s. Dre is a monster but we all know he’s pushed that lp bck way too long. So much of this shit is true Rick Ross fat ass is gonna die if he don’t take some of that “Boss” money and buy a fckn salad. Today’s hip hop is shit it’s not about life it’s about fantasy and while these kids keep feeding into it thinking one day they will push an Aston truth is only 1% out of 100 ever really do get in the biz, maintain and actually do numbers. Kids go to school and get a real fucking job.
DX thanks for the award!!:)
wasnt expecting this to be so on point and funny. Nice job Dx
1 & 17 are too true.
={ I’M SAD NOW, EVEN HHDX KNOWS THE TRUTH ABOUT THIS GUY, JUST RELEASE THE PHOTO’S SO I CAN SEE DRAKE NAKED
1,2 AND 6 ON POINT LIKE A MAFUKR
AND THE DICK MOUTH FAIRY FUCKER AWARD GOOES TOO ………….
YADIG,,,,,FOR BEING SO EMOTIONAL ATTACHED TO WEEEEZY, BABY, AND DRAKE AND FOR ALWAYS LETTING US NOW THAT HE’D SUCK ALL THREE OF EM AT THE SAME TIME
CONGRATS PUSSY
lol this article dissed V.nasty and Drake lmao.
FUCK ALL YOU HATING ASS BITCHES!!YALL KNOW YMCMB GOT THIS SHIT ON LOCK NOW AND FOREVER! AND YOU KNOW WHAT? I WOULD SUCK WAYNE AND DRAKE DICK AND LET THEM FUCK MY ASS WHILE I EAT NICKI FROM THE BACK. SO WHAT YOU GOT TO SAY NOW???
Damn, nothing for Webbie?
2ND PLACE JOE
Dear Dx-Staff, so you people are shittin on artist you write about like you respresent “the real” in “hip-hop”.
Then you complain about motherfuckers not giving you interviews any more? Always respect the bad taste of fans and acutally bring some “news” instead of filling pages with bullshit, you fuckers…
Lol angry drake fan.
Reading these comments it looks like people don’t have a sense of humor anymore.
Hilarious DX! The best one was the child molester mustache award and the Drake one. LOL!!
The best article I’ve seen on this site so far, rofl.
the saigon part makes no sense …its the album of the year so far !
V Nasty can suck a molasses dipped dick straight out of rick ross’ asshole.
So true. I’m so glad Tity Boi changed his name. I thought dude was nice for a minute but that was holding him back big time. He’s all over now. Mister Cee let me down big time w/that one. Getting gobbled up by a tranny is no way to get caught out there. Can’t even listen the same. Might not make a difference to all. It made a personal difference to me. Especially the fact that he lied about it. To each their own. That’s just me being honest. I’m sure if Parez Hilton said he was straight a few gay folks would be just as pissed. If any1 wants to take that as gay bashing go ahead. Boo hoo.
I feel him a 100 % no homo