In honor of the Thanksgiving holiday, HipHopDX carries on a tradition with our 8th annual Turkey Awards. As Eddie Murphy’s cell-mate in Trading Places once proclaimed, “it ain’t cool being no jive turkey so close to Thanksgiving.” Quite a few of our favorite rappers (and some of our favorite to laugh at) did not get that memo this year. 2012 has seen superstars get into scratch-fights, rappers left at the altar, more false promises of retirement and an an overload of Twitter fuckery. We’ll honor the music next month with our Year-End Awards, but today we celebrate the turkeys.
1. The Close Encounters Of The Third Kind Award – Lupe Fiasco
He is currently in a hammock sharing Reese’s Pieces with a man he thinks is an alien.
2. The Clubber Lang Award – DMX & his threats of beating up Drake in an elevator.
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However the odds that Drake and DMX would ever be in the same building…
3.The Carly Rae Jepsen “Call Me, Maybe” Award – Jay-Z & Robert De Niro
“When Bobby chirp, Jigga, chirp back.”
4. The “We’ll Be Embarrassed To Tell Our Kids We Cared” Award – The Tupac Hologram.
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Virtual Reality for stoned concert goers who only know 3 Tupac songs anyway.
5. The EPMD Award – Mobb Deep
Reunion likely coming to a digital record label sometime long after we all stopped giving a fuck.
6. The Requiem For A Dream Award – Gunplay
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His 2012 has officially gone “ass-to-ass.”Snort.
7. The Latarian Milton Scholarship – Chief Keef
Who just “likes doin’ hoodrat stuff with his friends.”
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8. The “Tyrone Biggums Mugshot” Award – SpaceGhostPurrp
Help me, Rhonda.
9. Most one sided conversation Award – Nas & The Social Network
Nas won’t be working with The Bravehearts at Geek Squad anytime soon.
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10. The “And I know a thing or two about trash albums” Award – Shyne
Godfather’s Career Buried Alive.
11. The Deebo Got Knocked The Fuck Out Award – 40 Glocc.
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Tyga will be by shortly for his chain, escorted by DJ Pooh in a Ford Escort.
12. The Take Back The Night Award – 50 Cent & Floyd Mayweather
Who use Twitter the same way most 13 year olds do.
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13. The “Stay Away From Reality TV” Award – Kanye West
His appearance on Keeping Up With The Kardashians is proof that the only cameras he should stand in front of are for PSA’s for Hurricane Katrina.
14. The “I Raided Fran Drescher’s Closet” Award – French Montana
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We guess that makes Diddy Mr. Sheffield?
15. The “You Should’ve Never Gave These Hipsters Money” Award – Rap Genius
The year hangin’ out with rappers became uncool.
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16. The “Get lost and go find yaself on NCIS” Award – LL Cool J’s Rapping
When G.O.A.T.’s go “Ratchet.”
17. The “Third Time’s a Charm!” Award – This Newscaster
18. The “A Perfect Christmas Gift For Mom And Dad!” Award – Jay-Z & Coldplay’s New Years Show
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19. The Baggin On Moms Award – That dumb show with Jim Jones’ muva.
LOLz
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20. The Bang Bus Ride-Along Award – Tyga’s RackCityXXX.com
Which will inevitably have more subsribers than people who bought Careless World: Rise Of The Last King.
21. The Ja Rule “Fake It Till You Make It” Award – Drake’s Aaliyah Tattoo
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Best you never woulda had.
22.The “Rap Game Toonces the Cat” Award – Lil B’s cat Keke
Now you can drive Lil B’s rapping off of a cliff.The tabby is officially more prolific in 2012 than Jay Elec.
23.The “Old Man Yells At Cloud” Award – Saigon
For getting all Andy Rooney raspy on Ross and 2 Chainz.
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24. The “I’m Not Sayin’, I’m Just Sayin'” Award – Big Boi
Hey 3 Stacks might be on some “Gillete Shit,” but maybe Adrian Brody can drop a quick 16?
25. The “Bet You Think This Role Is About You” Award – Riff Raff
Not only did he claim James Franco’s character in Spring Breakers was based on him, he also spread rumors he was the inspiration behind Lincoln, the wolves in the Grey, and at least half of The Muppets.
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Happy Thanksgiving From All Of Us To All Of You – The Staff At HipHopDX
RELATED:The 2011 HipHopDX Turkey Awards
RELATED: The 2010 HipHopDX Turkey Awards
