Thanksgiving is a holiday where we show our gratitude for everything that means something to us. Here at HipHopDX, we have bountiful gratitude for the ridiculous lack of dignity some of our favorite celebs (and their parents) have for themselves and others. To give thanks, here’s our annual Turkey Awards, where we nominate the biggest turkeys in Hip Hop. Some of them are 25 pound Butterball-sized fails, while others are just appetizers. Either way, they all get served.
This Year’s Turkey Award For Wasting Our Time Goes To Nicki & Drake’s Marriage
Starting a rumor that you’re marrying Nicki Minaj probably helped Drake’s career, but Barbie and Canadian Ken’s union was plastic. Thanks for wasting our Friday night, guys. “Up All Night” has new meaning.
This Year’s Mr. Me Too Turkey Award Goes Lloyd Banks’ “Blue Friday”
If Kanye’s G.O.O.D. Friday and Nicki’s Pink Friday had a son, it would be called Blue Friday. Too bad that child would be an entire tax bracket below his parents.
This Year’s Worst Album Cover Turkey Award Goes To Sheek Louch – Donnie G: Don Gorilla
Yes, we got the Gorilla theme after last album. But after Marky Mark Wahlberg said one of the apes in Planet of the Apes looked like Janet Jackson and people weren’t amused, did you really think you’d get the pass, Donnie G?
This Year’s Why Are You Still A Thing? Turkey Award Goes To Waka Flocka Flame
Waka Flocka Flame’s been screaming for about 13 months straight. We’re not sure why this is still appealing to some people. The entire world can’t possibly all go hard in the paint.
This Year’s We Know You’re Sleeping With Chelsea Handler Turkey Award Goes To 50 Cent
50 Cent probably has done alot worse for the bone, but making a viral video with Keenan Cahill and also a walk on role on Chelsea Lately proves Curtis is in it to win it. Please don’t diss her like Vivica though after the fact, she’ll ether you.
This Year’s Stop Releasing Mixtapes and Drop Your Turkey Album For God’s Sake Goes To Game
All red everything, right? How about the R.E.D. Album already? Don’t literally be the Doctor’s Advocate, Jayceon. We’ve been waiting 22 years for Detox.
This Year’s Shortest Time Out Between Prison Terms Turkey Award Goes To T.I. (runner-up: Gucci Mane)
Tip had just enough time to walk out of jail and take a shower with ropeless soap before he had to walk right back in. At least No Mercy will be released on time; T.I., not so much.
This Year’s Embarrassing Mother Turkey Award Goes To Trey Songz’ Mom
Trey Songz’s mom April Tucker stands in the league of exceptional moms called MILRFs aka Moms I’d Like to Run From. Even Mario and his mom laugh at Trey and ma dukes.
This Year’s Favorite Weed Carrier Turkey Award Goes To Lil Twist and Lil Chuckee
Nothing like a little underage hustling of Grade D emcees to remind you why Baby Stace didn’t quite make the impact she wanted to. Twist and Chuck have years to hone their craft. After all, we met Weezy when he was like what, four years old? Meanwhile, Sid Vicious’ mohawk just turned over in its grave.
This Year’s Don’t Ever Do That Again Turkey Award Goes To Kid Cudi’s English Accent
The “Erase Me” video intro is officially more embarrassing than breaking a chick’s cell phone, or more public drunkeness than a Lohan family reunion. Jimi Hendrix is stone crazy, and you’re the lonely stoner. C’mon son!
This Year’s Turkey Award For Making Our Brains Hurt Goes To Sales from Lil Boosie’s Incarcerated Donated To Help Keep Him From Being Incarcerated
We felt like we dropped acid and did a word-search puzzle when that press release came across our desk. What’s more, the album actually sold decently.
This Year’s Turkey Award For We Waited Six Years For This?: Stat Quo’s Statlanta
Saigon is going to have to work extra hard to make up for that mis-step, as a highly-talked about title was stripped of its mystique (and Dr. Dre production) and basically released as a mixtape with a barcode
The I Wish I Had A Deloreoan With A Flux Capacitator Turkey Award Goes To Beanie Sigel
Beanie Sigel throwing Jay-Z, Drake and Kanye West under the bus was bad. But when you’re hustling change to get on said bus it’s worse.
This Year’s Turkey Award For You Need A Cameo Appearance On Glee Goes To Young B For Offering To Sodomize Kanye West
Singing Cee Lo’s “Fuck You” like Gwen would have new meaning too…
This Year’s Turkey Award For Bad ‘Shrooms Trip Goes To Insane Clown Posse For The “Miracles” Video
ICP should be proud that they found a way to extend
This Year’s Turkey Award For Single White Female Goes To Diddy For His Stalker-ish Behavior Towards Jay Electronica
Even Craig Mack called that shit ugly, Sean. Tweeting through sex is bad. Getting souped up on Ciroc and tweeting feelin’s is worse.
This Year’s Turkey Award For Pookie From New Jack City Award Goes To 50 Cent For His Appearance In The Movie Things Fall Apart
No explanation needed.
This Year’s Turkey Award For Future Lindsay Lohan(s) Goes To Kiely Williams and Adrienne Bailon, Formerly of 3LW.
Dropping a video that endorses date rape and leaking your own naked pics ain’t the business.
This Year’s Turkey Award For Best Gossip Girl impersonation Goes To Young Jeezy & Rick Ross.
That passive aggressive bullshit needs to stop. Big Meech’s sentence ain’t changing, and you two were the only thing Def Jam did right between 2005-2008.