We interrupt this month’s edition of “What The Fuck” to bring to you the First Annual HHDX Thanksgiving Turkey Awards! This year has been full of some really ridiculous things. So we at Hiphopdx.com thought it would be wise to give out awards to the numerous dumbasses, dipshits, dickheads, morons and various other idiots in the biz. So check out our first annual “Thanksgiving Turkey Awards” and hopefully you’ll get a kick out of this like we have. If you don’t well you can kiss our collective rainbow coalition of asses (They vary from “black as hell” to “baking soda white” FYI).
The Turkey Award for “Longest song concept that after part 2 really sucks” goes to…
R. Kelly for “Trapped in the Closet”
The Turkey Award for “Best beat done on an Atari 2600” Huh? Oh…they used up to date equipment??? *scratches pad* “Worst beat ever” goes to…
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D4L for “Laffy Taffy” (Tell me that shit doesn’t suck)
The Turkey Award for “Worst acting by a rapper playing himself” goes to…
50 Cent for “Get Rich Or Die Tryin”
The Turkey Award for “Flossiest rapper who shouldn’t be surprised he got shot” goes to…
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Cam’ron for his involvement in a botched carjacking
The Turkey Award for “Rapper who spends more time shooting mug shots than magazine spreads” goes to…
DMX for his numerous fuck ups this year
The Turkey Award for “Magazine who fucked up so much that their ‘self-righteous’ attempts look stupid as fuck” goes to…
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The Source (at least you KNOW what side XXL is on)
The Turkey Award for “I just realized how valuable Jay-Z was” award goes to…
Dame Dash whose ventures are falling apart rapidly
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The Turkey Award for “I suck dick and got rich and you hoes are mad you didn’t write a book about it” goes to…
Karrine “Superhead” Stefains
The Turkey Award for “most repetitive rhymes” goes to…
It’s a tie! Paul Wall and (Who?) Mike Jones!
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The Turkey Award for “We hate negroes in our sport so we’ll make a rule to eliminate their negro tendencies” goes to…
The NBA for that dress code Bullshit
The Turkey Award for “My Mixtapes Are So Much Better Than My Albums That It’s Disgusting” goes to…
Talib Kweli for anything he puts out other than his album
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The Turkey Award for “Biggest Homo-Thug” goes to…
50 Cent and his new GQ photo shoot (and various other poses he’s done over the year)
The Turkey Award for “I’m famous and I don’t know why” goes to…
Omarosa (Why is this bitch famous again?)
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The Turkey Award for the most “functional crack heads” goes to…
Whitney & Bobby for their funny yet retarded TV show
The Turkey Award for “Least Improved Player” goes to…
Memphis Bleek (when is this guy gonna stop?)
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The Turkey Award for “Gayest Song Title of the Year” goes to…
Royce Da 5’9″ feat. Sara Stokes for “Wet My Whistle” (That’s gay in so many ways)
The Turkey Award for “Seriously, You’re Going To Hell, and I Don’t Feel Sorry For You” goes to…
Ma$e
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The Turkey Award for “I can’t believe this preppy black motherfucker said this shit! Can’t you tell by the look on my fucking face?” goes to…
Mike Myers for his face when Kanye West said “George Bush Doesn’t Care About Black People”
Honorable Mention: Chris Tucker because he looked pretty damn shocked too.
The Turkey Award for “Faux Politician of the Year” goes to…
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Kanye West
The Turkey Award for “I’m Harder Than You, Cuz I Make Gay Shit Seem OK” goes to…
Kanye West
The Turkey Award for “Your Album’s Dope, But It Doesn’t Matter, Because You Look Like You Are 12 Years Old” goes to…
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Bobby Valentino & Trey Songs
The Turkey Award for “Drug Dealer-Turned-Rapper, But I’m Still A Drug Dealer” goes to…
Young Jeezy
The Turkey Award for “I think I’m hard but have the gayest tattoo” goes to…
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Game for that gay little butterfly (don’t you think it’s gay?)
The Turkey Award for “I single handedly ruined my crew’s rep because of my wack ass album” goes to…
Tony Yayo for Thoughts of a Predicate Felon
The Turkey Award for “Whenever I can’t think of something to say I just repeat my phone number and my name” goes to…
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Mike Jones
The Turkey Award for “Nigga…you know what you were signing when you got into this shit” goes to…
The Lox for the fucked up deal with Diddy
The Turkey Award for “I hate blacks, Arabs, Mexicans, Chinese, Puerto Ricans, Indians and everybody else not white and I don’t give a shit” goes to…
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President George Bush (Duh!)
So that does it for this year’s Turkey Awards. Hopefully you enjoyed. If you want to praise us and kiss our feet or want to berate us with your meaningless dribble, you can TALK SHIT HERE. We would love to hear your comments but if we don’t like them we will probably just delete your account from our message board because that’s just how we roll!
Holla!
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Management
