The Golden Turkey is back gotdammit! After the success of the inaugural HHDX Turkey Awards, we at HipHopDX have decided that its time to do it once again. So while many of you will be cooking up some turkey with your families for Thanksgiving, we figured that we would give our favorite rap stars of the year a turkey of their own to celebrate their numerous fuck ups for Thanksgiving. So buckle up and get ready for our 2nd annual list of awards. And, once again, if you don’t like it you can kiss our collective rainbow coalition of asses (They vary from “black as hell” to “baking soda white” FYI).
The Turkey Award for “Best Kiss” goes to…
Baby and Lil’ Wayne.
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The Turkey Award for “Hip-Hop’s biggest label fuck” goes to…
The Clipse (those crackers at Jive aren’t playing fair)
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The Turkey Award for “Sexiest sista with mad scar tissue” goes to…
Flava of Love’s Deelishis
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The Turkey Award for “First person to take a shit on the floor on national television” goes to…
Flava of Love’s Somethin (and you know she didn’t have any drawers on if it hit the floor…yuck!)
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The Turkey Award for “Most usage of the name ‘Dre’” goes to…
The Game
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The Turkey Award for “Stay in school and learn something dumbass” goes to…
Jibbs. I don’t give a fuck how low your chain hangs kid, I bet you don’t know your multiplication tables.
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The Turkey Award for “Worst (Horrible!) Ad Libber (Talking in the background!) of the Year (The ’06!)” goes to…
Jim (Capo!) Jones (Baallin’! Harlem! Dipset!)
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The Turkey Award for “Dumbest Beef” goes to…
Diddy vs 50 Cent…how you gonna beef with someone who don’t write their own raps and then he dismisses you with one line–“I’m Richer Bitch”?
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The Turkey Award for “Biggest bellyflop without a pool” goes to…
Mobb Deep’s Blood Money album.
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The Turkey Award for “Best Liar in Hip Hop” goes to…
Jay-Z for A) retiring like a boxer and B) saying going at Jim Jones is like going at the 9th guy on the bench and that he’ll never diss someone over their own track… then droppin’ Brooklyn High
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The Turkey Award for “Get a gotdamn life” goes to…
Anyone who camped out for 36 hours to get a PS3 and isn’t selling it. Do you really need a system that bad? What did your girl say about sleeping outside for 2 days? Oh nevermind…
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The Turkey Award for “What Happened?” goes to…
Tie: G-Unit (What happened to that Midas touch?) & K-Fed (You bricked…hard holmes! So hard your girl dumped you.)
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The Turkey award for “Handing out the Ass Whipping of the Year using a shovel” goes to…
Loon
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The Turkey Award for “Worst Singer with a hit” goes to…
T-Pain
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The Turkey Award for “I wasn’t a racist until Youtube caught me” goes to…
Michael Richards aka Kramer from Seinfeld for his super racist rant
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The Turkey Award for “You know you are too big to be fighting that lil guy” goes to…
The Game for the one hitter quitter on Ras Kass…it’s like Mike Tyson fighting Mini Me. I bet he wouldn’t punch out 50 Cent.
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The Turkey Award for “Best Sell Out Producer who added an ex junkie to his actual hip hop group to form a new improved hip hop group that’s basically just the Pussycat Dolls with a few guys” goes to..
(The ever so talented) Will-I-Am and his (sell out group) Black Eyed Peas
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The Turkey Award for “Shitting Bricks in the Oval Office” goes to…
President Bush after the Dems took Congress
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The Turkey Award for “The Biggest Retard Dance” goes to…
DJ Webstar for Chicken Noodle Soup.
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The Turkey Award for “Trying to set back the African American race far back enough so that we can become kings and queens again” goes to…
Mz. Peachez for “Fry That Chicken”, Jibbs for “Chain Hang Low” & DJ Webstar for “Chicken Noodle Soup”
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The Turkey Award for “Biggest Procrastinator Posing As Perfectionist” goes to…
Dr. Dre. That Detox album better change the way we see music and life by the time it comes out. And he better be writing his own rhymes this time! (Ed Note: Yeah fucking right)
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The Turkey Award for “I wrote all his shit and made hits while I can’t seem to write a hit of my own so I’ll diss you for attention” goes to…
Gillie the Kid
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The Turkey Award for “What the Fuck is He Doing” goes to…
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Largest tie in history:
Flavor Flav-see VH1
Tom Cruise- see him “Jockin”
Snoop- see airport security
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DMX- see highway dash cams
The Turkey Award for “Fucking off nearly half of our market share and profits with anti-hip hop comments…” goes to…
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Frederic Rouzaud, managing director for Cristal champagne
The Turkey Award for “What the fuck you mean I didn’t win!?!?” goes to…
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Kanye West for his “sippy sippy” rant after losing at the MTV Euro Awards (see, you won this award Kanye.)
So that does it for the 2nd Annual Turkey Awards. Hopefully you enjoyed. If you want to praise us and kiss our feet or want to berate us with your meaningless dribble, you can talk shit right here. We would love to hear your comments but if we don’t like them we will probably just delete your account from our message board because that’s just how we roll *kidding…kidding*!
Holla!
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Management
