So much to say. When WIDE Awake purchased Death Row Records, I thought they paid for little more than 10 Realest albums, some shit that Daz Dillinger already bootlegged and maybe one of those cornball erased 2Pac tracks with a Snoop Dogg soundalike on there. Instead, the Ultimate Death Row box set has contents like this. Dr. Dre might be the greatest producer in Rap history, and while the TV networks will love to point to Eminem tracks and Snoop tracks and the usual suspects, this right here is why Andre Young is my favorite producer. The visual for this is a complete companion to the canon of videos from The Chronic. Morever, when I was on the come-up, this record, (originally a B-side to “Let Me Ride”) sold me on my favorite brand of gin, and my favorite method of burning one down. When Kurupt says, “I last did dirt the other day,” you can A) hear the Treach influence, B) remember why Tha Dogg Pound wasn’t just models for Dickies jackets, Daz and Kurupt were (and sometimes still are) ferocious on the mic. I promise to listen to The Chronic till the day that I die.
What the hell is up with 2009’s push for “Frat Rap?” Asher Roth…Deuce Poppi…T-Pain, now this shit? I never thought these words would come from my mouth, but The Shop Boyz were pioneers. This whole presentation feels like low-carb attempt at recreating “Let’s Go” from Lil Jon and company a few years ago. I love the beat, and Tech N9ne‘s verse, but this gimmick of white girl kissing needs to go. Not impressed. Instead of paying for this anything-but-Crunk-ass party, why not fly in Tech to do his verse? I hope this song translates to another hit for DJ Paul and Juicy J, but the video looks like a junior varsity Girls Gone Wild, with all the good stuff edited out. No thanks.
The Ugly: “German TVTotal Interview” by 50 Cent
Fif‘s publicity run for Before I Self Destruct has been dry. I don’t think I’m alone in saying that Tyler Perry‘s new show on TBS is more entertaining than this one-way sparring match with Jay-Z. Leave it to the Germans though, to avoid all the flip-cam interview bullshit and actually make an interview so bad it’s worth talking about. Curtis says that his cologne (the interviewer keeps calling it “perfume”) “smells like success.” Priceless soundbyte that can only be topped by the interviewer using Power as Banaca. Strangely, this is the first time, maybe ever, that I’ve seen 50 Cent sincerely laugh. Oh well… it doesn’t sell me on the fragrance, but I’ve always believed that aside from Ralph Lauren and Davidoff, I spray nothing on myself that has another man’s name on it (Pause). But then again, I’m still adjusting to shoes without laces.
The Hilarious: “C’mon Son! pt. 7” by Ed Lover
Once upon a time, MTV used to play actual music videos. And if it was Hip Hop you desired, Fab 5 Freddy, Ed Lover and Dr. Dre held down the hosting duties. Ed Lover can still be found on New York’s Power 105, but to catch him on these YouTube clips is a whole different experience. Gone is the affable, non-threatening dude who used to do his patented dance to 45 King‘s “The 900 Number.” The 21st Century Ed Lover drops the most f-bombs and real talk this side of Charles Barkley. Ed‘s quote of the week comes courtesy of Tiger Woods‘ epic fail: “Tiger Woods, your wife fucked you up! A broke bitch, Tiger? You fuckin’ with a party hostess? You’d have been better off fuckin’ with Tahiry, dog.” Ouch. The OG said what we’ve all either been thinking or saying in our own circles all week. Here’s to hoping Ed moves to satellite radio, where the music and checks are better and censors and commercials don’t exist.
The Random: “Victoria’s Secret Performance” by the Black Eyed Peas
Jesus H. Tapdancing Christ, this was a head-scratcher. Glow sticks and a PG-rated rave vibe, the Black Eyed Peas, a bunch of half-naked dime-pieces and I think I even saw the tour guide chick from all those A Tribe Called Quest album covers. Hell, from the neck up, Fergie was giving a few of those lingerie models a run for their money. And how the hell did will, Apl and Taboo even remember their lyrics with all that scattered ass in front of them? If you’re going to put T and A in your video, this is how it should be done. This is so much better than all those cats with them busted ass, bullet scar and stab wound rocking strippers in their “made for World Star Hip Hop“ videos. Between the “Yes We Can” video, his SoundClash performance and this, I think will.i.am has officially atoned for his previous sins.