Lil Wayne has claimed that the “F” is Weezy F. Baby stands for many things: fornicate, finisher, forever, free, FEMA, ferocious, flame, forensics, etc. But there’s another phrase that it probably stands for, given Wayne’s penchant for off-the-wall lyrics: “fucking absurd.”
One of the things that has kept Tunechi so exciting after all these years is that his bars are as unpredictable as his lean habit is predictable.
10. “All this snow up in my house/These bitches call me Coldplay” – “Freaky Side”
Rumor has it that instead of stairs, Coldplay frontman Chris Martin has slopes of snow that lead down to his basement. That ski lift is a bitch to operate indoors, though.
9. “Where the wettest clitoris and fattest nipples?/With an ass that jiggle with a grab or tickle/With a throat deep enough to land a missile” – “Big Bad Wolf”
Finding “the one” can seem impossible. And to think, all Dwayne Carter wants is that special someone with a throat capable of aiding the United States in its nuclear missile tests.
8. “Six hoes and they all dykes, and all they need is one mic” – “Sick”
The mic in question is Lil Wayne’s fully-erect member. Still, the thought of six “hoes” needing just one mic, one beat and one stage, like a young Nasir waging war, is hysterical. Don’t front, or they’ll have your face on the front page.
7. “She give me ass, she give me head, I call it headbutting” – “For Nothing”
Only Lil Tunechi could take a brutal fight move and turn it into a phrase for ass-to-mouth sex play.
6. “Your ex be hatin’ like eczema” – “Back to Sleep
Fuck eczema’s hatin’ ass. He was recently nominated for Player Hater of the Year for getting his best friend’s wife pregnant, and then tricking his friend into raising the lil muthafucka!
5. “Sit down on my dinner table, eat that pussy like it’s catered” – “Main Things”
When you have dinner guests as prestigious as the likes of Drake, the right move is to have the entrées catered.
Drake: “This pussy’s good, is it homemade?”
Wayne: “Nah, I got it from a catering service. I’ll give you the number.”
4. “Girl the way you be taking this D from me/You act like you spelling something” – “Back to Sleep”
Wayne only messes with intelligent types. You know, the kind who practice for their adult spelling bees when they’re taking that long dick from behind. What’s that they say about studying? You gotta fit it in when you can. Not unlike Wayne’s…nevermind.
3. “Got a hoe from the Bahamas/Let me sword fight with her tonsils” – “Go Brazy”
This bar comes courtesy of feature Jay Jones. As a valiant swordsman, he will put his life on the line to duel with the tonsils of a woman from the Bahamas. Someone knight him.
2. “We pull out the movie, win awards/She got a Golden Globe head and an Oscar booty” – “Big Bad Wolf”
Forget about having an L.A. face and an Oakland booty, it’s all about looking like the little golden man from the Globes in the front and sporting that sweet Oscar ass as you walk on by.
1. “And your queen got my dick hard body/There’s a stick up in my drawers, armed robbery” – “Sick”
Operator: 911, emergency response.
Lil Wayne: Uh, yeah, this is Dwayne Carter. I’d like to report a robbery going on in my boxers right now.
Operator: Is there anyone injured, sir?
Lil Wayne: My balls. They’re blue.
Operator: We’ll send someone right away, sir.