A couple months sure feels like a long time doesn’t it? The VH1 Award nominated crew of HipHopDX.com(don’t forget to vote suckas!) is back at it again with another edition What The Fuck. It was a real pain in the ass trying to narrow these down. So much crap in the industry made us go WTF yet we only have 25 spots. Maybe we should go to monthly? Regardless, we hope you enjoy this edition which features 50 Cent and Kanye‘s insensitive asses, Prodigy the punching bag, the new era of super buff rappers (who the fuck they trying to impress anyway?) and so much more. Buckle up and enjoy the ride…
1. WTF was up with the insensitive release date of 9/11 for Graduation and Curtis? Didn’t something important happen on that day? Let me think…ummmm… I guess not.
2. WTF is wrong with 50 Cent, is dude just too arrogant to graciously admit defeat? Dude got whooped by over 300,000 units so he starts claiming Ye cheated and doesn’t even try and offer proof or reason.
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3. WTF? When did we all of a sudden start paying attention to worldwide sales? These fools trying to claim 50 won worldwide (which there is zero proof that he has, in fact most regions show Kanye winning). No one ever talks about worldwide sales cause there isn’t a global tracking system so it’s just best guesses when it comes to worldwide. But all these sad little fans, does it really matter to you that much?
4. WTF 50? You dropped five singles and only one banger in “I Get Money”? After “Amusement Park” and “Straight To The Bank” bombed it should have been a sign about your album.
5. WTF is good with people really expecting 50 to retire? He just sold 600k in his first week! So what if he got beat? I’m sure he’s still laughing “Straight To The Bank” Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-haaaaaaaaa!
6. WTF will the next two big artists match up their release dates and try and recreate the hype that Ye and 50 just got? Think we’ll see it by the 4th quarter? Jay-Z and Nas? Jay-Z and Wayne? How about Jay-Z/Nas/Lil Wayne on the same day! The opportunities are endless!
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7. WTF has Hip Hop become? A bodybuilding contest? Gotdamn! You’d think these fools would be R&B singers.
8. WTF is up with all these mixed emotions? Do Diddy, Jay, and 50, like each other or not? It’s like they all are signing the hook to Frontin (“I was just frontin/you know I want you babe”).
9. WTF does Lil Wayne charge for a guest appearance? If he charges even a dollar he must have made about 10 mil this year alone!
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10. WTF…is it just us or does Lil Mama look like Bow Wow in drag?
11. WTF is up with the whole MTV VMAs looking like a rehearsal for the real thing?
12. WTF is a gotdamn “Crank Dat Soulja Boy” anyway? Super soak that hoe? Superman that hoe? And this is for our kids? I guess…
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13. WTF is ex-D-Block member J-Hood doing jumping on stage with 50 Cent in the BX? Yeah that makes you a real gangster I guess..although he’s probably scared to step foot on the crib now. Speaking of which…
14. WTF is up with Styles P saying he’s been waiting outside of J-Hood’s crib? That’s serious beef when you stake out a man’s home and wait to whip his ass.
15. WTF is Cam thinking by considering his album be called Courtesy Curtis? I’m all about a little rap beef but to include another man’s name in your album title??? That would be like Nas calling his next album My Friend Jay-Z.
16. WTF is wrong with Prodigy? Isn’t this guy like the sucka of the industry now? Snuffed by Saigon, robbed by Tru Life, sonned by Jay-Z, bodied by Keith Murray, even Tupac got in that ass before he died…whatcha gonna do for an encore? Better yet…Havoc how do YOU feel about ya boy?
17. WTF made Havoc tell Kanye to “eat a dick” for anyway? He needs to eat his words (along with that paltry 4k first week sales figure) and help his boy fight.
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18. WTF? Is it me or does Kanye have a fascination with dikes (not dicks like Havoc asked him to eat)? I swear he talks about them on every album.
19. WTF is Mya doing dishing dirt on the dudes she got down with in the game..is that her way of staying relevant? Superhead got that spot sweetheart.
20. WTF Bill O’Reilly!?!? We knew you didn’t care for black folks much but damn! Do you really think we roll up in our local spots ordering “Motherfucking Burgers, some fucking fries and a big ass soda”? Do you?
21. WTF is up with Eminem? Is it me or has his last few guest appearances been trash. Am I the only one who misses Slim Shady circa early 2000s?
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22. WTF is up with Floyd Mayweather? Dancing With The Stars when you have a serious fight coming up? I mean if you whip his ass it’s all good but Dancing With The Stars is a kind of fruity activity to do. How about Survivor or basketball. Anything but ballroom dancing…
23. WTF…WHY does Ja Rule have to come back? The hip hop world was a much happier place without that little rodent. The same goes for Nelly, be gone fools.
24. WTF was up with the finale for Diddy’s Making The Band 4? Was I the only one not surprised that the white boy got a solo deal?
25. WTF is wrong with Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson? This Jena shit has
been going on for awhile and while both of you bums were busy calling
Barack Obama “white” and fighting “Read A Book” ya’ll shoulda been
talking about this. But I guess you only go where the cameras are right?
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There it is! I’m sure some of you will call us haters but honestly its all in good clean fun. Ain’t nobody above a good ol’ tongue lashing. Even us. But guess what? We don’t give a flying monkey fuck if we made you mad. You’ll be back next month.
Give a shout to your favorite gotdamn Editor-In-Chief on my myspace page…
We now return you to your regularly brainwashed lives,
Management
