I push the seek button on my radio: “I Invented Sex” by Trey Songz. I push it again, and Young Money’s “Bedrock” is on. This cycle continues until I settle on “Try Sleeping With A Broken Heart.” Alicia Keys is always the safe bet, and in this case, she may have just saved my 20 minute drive.  

The teenagers I work with, self-proclaimed R&B fanatics, love Trey Songz. Specifically, they adore the song “I Invented Sex.” The lustful lyrics, the take charge mentality has both genders fantasizing. Trey sings, “Know we ’bout to sin, but your body is a blessing, Father forgive me,” 15 year old girls eat up, and 15 year old boys believe it like scripture. And as a society, we wonder where the romance has gone? We question whether or not the younger generation respects women enough. That generation knows the bedroom, and all the metaphors that describe it, but their game is twisted.

Man or woman, we all had or have a close-by CD or tape for life’s intimate encounters. I’ve seen it called the “Get The Drawers Mix.” In my teens, my older brother schooled me never to name it anything incriminating just in case the lady friend would ask for a copy. I stuck with the safe “So Soulful Mix.” Although there were several incarnations of “So Soulful,” the good ones typically started out with classics like Al Green’s “Simply Beautiful,” where intentions weren’t overt, as the mix progressed to The Isley Brothers’ “Between The Sheets” and usually climaxed with the Marvin Gaye classic “Let’s Get It On” – cliche for a reason. The process of making the tape was as artful as the desired effect. Maintaining the groove was essential, as also the song order was of the utmost importance. The risk and reward of suggestive songs could make or break an evening. The music allowed for interpretation, suggestion and if nothing else, simply just felt like almost-innocent good music to have on.

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Take a look at Power 99’s – Philadelphia’s number 1 Hip Hop and R&B station, Top Jams and figure out the trend. The female artists seem to make music about break-ups and the regrets (See Alicia’s “Try Sleeping with a Broken Heart” and even Melonie Fionia’s “It Kills Me”) the men, well, the song titles include, “I Invented Sex,” “Say Aah,” “Bedrock” and “Sex Therapy” should tell you enough. Yes, the ever-dope and classy Maxwell is on the list twice, but the numbers don’t lie. Seemingly, the formula that R. Kelly claimed to have perfected is now followed to a tee. Artists have their club songs, mandatory deep song, fill the rest with sex songs, usually led by one that actually has hit potential. Truly, it’s paint-by-numbers. Maybe it catches the eye but there really isn’t any truth to the piece. Follow the script – read your lines – unfortunately they haven’t even grasped that even the average actors improvise. Their game is twisted.

When Marvin Gaye wailed “Oh baby” in the classic “Let’s Get it On,” he wasn’t pouring his heart out about a one night stand. The song was rumored to cement the divorce from his first marriage and be very suggestive of Gaye’s intentions for his second. There is way too much emotion in that song to be talking about a simple fling, and regardless of context, you can hear it in the timeless classic. Ron Isley and company spent way to much time crafting the beautiful to act as a cheap pick up line or braggadocios moment. Paul Mooney and Richard Prior could hook you up with the one liners and even then the stories that went with them were more complex than half of what we hear in R&B lyrics today. If Soul music is dying, it’s not radio, the deejay or the ringtone that is killing it. If the music is dying, the artist is killing it.

The Al Greens, Marvin Gayes, and Isley Brothers have been staples in the late night mixtape for nearly 50 years. The same music that I diligently played on my turntable, with a blank Maxell on dub, somebody today is making a playlist on his iPod. It’s timeless music, from the melodic bassline in “Between the Sheets” to the desperation in Marvin’s voice. Occasionally, we’ll add a new song to the rotation. Maxwell’s “Whenever Wherever However” is one, D’Angelo’s “Untitled” is another, and Quincy Jones’s “Secret Garden” earns a spot on my list. It’s a dying art, unfortunately. There are no more illusions; every sex metaphor known to man has been used. From The Flintstones to the zoo – artists have forgotten the romance, the wooing, even the crooning sounds ridiculous when the lyrics are all about penetration.

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Make no mistake though, it’s not just the new generation that has done this. Leon Haywood’s “I Wanna Do Something Freaky To You,” was released in 1973, which reappeared 19 years later as thee Dr. Dre sample. Even the aforementioned “In Between The Sheets” is provocative in its own right. The ’80s were filled with its share of records where sex wasn’t an innuendo but rather the blunt emphasis of the record. Jodeci toed the line, at times brilliantly, in the ’90s, and R. Kelly’s “Bump N’ Grind” left little on the table. “Aint’ nothing wrong…” he sang, and we accepted it. Never did we guess that revolution would follow.

It’s hard to even name drop R. Kelly when discussing this issue without wanting to pass the blame completely. Kelz’ last few albums have seen The R devote his entire self to this one topic. He’s a classic example of an artist who isn’t willing to age with his fans. While those who played “Bump N’ Grind” religiously when it dropped are now husbands and wives, R. Kelly is kicking it with OJ Da Juiceman singing “Superman High.” I personally have an uncle who acts the same way; he was real cool until we realized how pathetic his youthful plight was. The exaggerated daps and stories were all a way to hide his insecurities, sound familiar, Robert? Every album sees R. Kelly continually trying to revive topics that he helped make cliche. It’s getting sillier and sillier; Double Up – was comical at best with the awful “Zoo” while Untitled seemed to rightfully earn every poor review it got. I’d be on my way to a divorce if I played “Be My #2″ or “Banging The Headboard” in the presence of my wife. Worse yet, even as a 27 year-old, I think I’d be embarrassed for it to be exiting the speakers in my house.

The younger generation of artists has followed R. Kelly’s lead. At one time, he was considered the absolute truth. His first albums acted as a blueprint for entering the R&B game successfully. Now, sadly, he’s competing for the same audience of the artist he helped inspire. He was one of the first who fused Hip Hop and R&B successfully, but now each effort slowly diminishes his hard work. Truth be told, there isn’t much of a difference between R. Kelly and Trey Songz or any other sex-crazed male artist on radio. Maybe Kelz was the source, the originator; maybe he indeed is the corrupted R in R&B. He has altered radio like none other, he could have made his mark but instead of moving on and leaving his print, he’s stayed put sinking everything it once meant. When you stand knee-deep in sexual references, there is no possibility to win – let alone be the king.

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Part of the problem may be that new artists have a genuine lack of mentors. The artists of the ’90s have slowly faded away with very few of them still making any impact of the charts. Some others like, Kelly, have competed to stay relevant. Others like Joe, and Brian McKnight, have pushed on musically, straying to Adult Contemporary instead of traditional R&B markets. Too many don’t know their history. Unaware of the foundation they have to build – the importance of live shows, musicianship and diversity in content. Instead, they’re determined to obtain fame be it by antics or raunchy brash lyrics. I’m not saying their shouldn’t be a place for it but Bobby Brown maxed out the idea, as did Kelz: if you put all your chips on one idea, even if you get rich, there’s little possibility of doing it again.

The game is twisted. Our focus shouldn’t be on the positive lyrics that some conservative critics suggest. The focus should be on groundbreaking, honest content, insightful, timeless lyrics with cinematic accompanying production. If we are to sacrifice one for another, we are stuck in this conundrum of today’s climate. We don’t need a straight line, just balance. Inevitably, someone is always going to rock the boat, but there are only so many people that can do that before it capsizes and it takes us all under.