Two weeks in, Cudi was hospitalized and his manager, Dennis Cummings, urged him to take a break. “Everything was fucked,” Cudi told Esquire, noting his speech and movement were slow.
For the next few months, Cudi needed physical rehab and admitted he didn’t feel normal until 2017 when he was reading with actor Michael Cera for a Broadway role in Lobby Hero and required to memorize a significant amount of dialogue. Although the role went to a more seasoned actor, it was a pivotal moment for him.
“I proved to myself that I could do it,” he said. “I needed that at the time. I was happy. Like, damn, my brain is still strong. I didn’t lose something in that shit that happened.”
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Kid Cudi checked himself into rehab in October 2016, shortly after lashing out at Drake and Kanye West on social media. He opened up about his suicidal urges and depression in a heartfelt Facebook post, while admitting he felt ashamed.
“It took me a while to get to this place of commitment, but it is something I have to do for myself, my family, my best friend/daughter and all of you, my fans,” he explained. “Yesterday I checked myself into rehab for depression and suicidal urges. I am not at peace. I haven’t been since you’ve known me. If I didn’t come here, I would’ve done something to myself. I simply am a damaged human swimming in a pool of emotions everyday of my life. There’s a ragin’ violent storm inside of my heart at all times.
“Idk what peace feels like. Idk how to relax. My anxiety and depression have ruled my life for as long as I can remember and I never leave the house because of it. I cant make new friends because of it. I don’t trust anyone because of it and I’m tired of being held back in my life.”
Kid Cudi has since become somewhat of an ambassador for mental health, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t still have bad days. More recently, Cudi walked off stage at Rolling Loud Miami after he was hit in the face with a water bottle. He also kicked producer Mike Dean off the Landing On The Moon Festival for undisclosed reasons.
Elsewhere in the Esquire interview, Cudi spoke about his rift with Kanye West and said it will basically take an act of God to heal their friendship.
“With all due respect, I’m not Drake, who’s about to take a picture with him next week and be friends again, and their beef is squashed,” Cudi said. “That’s not me. What I say, I mean. I will be done with you. It’s gonna take a motherfucking miracle for me and that man to be friends again. I don’t see it happening. He gon’ have to become a monk.”