Warner Music Group artist CHIKA has expressed numerous times how much she struggles with her mental health. But she took things to a whole other level on Saturday (March 26) when she admitted she was moments away from throwing herself off the top of The InterContinental Hotel in St. Paul, Minnesota.
Although the Grammy Award-nominated rapper didn’t go through with it, she said she’s simply looking for a different method in which to end her life. In a lengthy statement posted to her Instagram Stories, she suggested she’s ending her life any moment.
“i went to the top of the intercontinental, but could not jump. not because i don’t want to, but because the metal stairs were scary. that’s the thing about having a fucked up brain. no matter how much pain you’re in, there will always be something holding you back. it’s draining & sad. it looks like crying wolf, but it’s not. it’s just difficult to find the right way. the quickest way. the painless way. i am tired of myself too.”
She continued, “i don’t need anyone feeling bad or worried bc i failed the last time i tried. save your emotions for when I succeed.” After describing herself as a “cautionary tale of sorts [when no one listens],” she called her potential suicide as “eternal freedom.” She ended the post with, “No more typing. i’m going to finish my drink and find a way that works. thanks for the ride, i hated it.”
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CHIKA shared a handful of equally concerning posts to her Instagram Stories, one on Friday night (March 25) that read, “I’m not making it home.” She followed up with, “Find my body in St. Paul IGAF” and “Madison, actually. Hope ur happy.”
Last April, CHIKA again worried her fans when she deactivated her Twitter account following a string of alarming tweets. The Alabama-bred singer/MC confessed she’d been flirting with the idea of retiring from music and was met with a barrage of insults instead. Subsequently, CHIKA suggested she and her haters make a “suicide pact” to put a stop to their collective suffering.
But a few days later, she returned to Twitter and appeared to be in a better place. She also thanked Cardi B who evidently came to her aid.
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“I am alive. I am okay,” she said at the time. “Thank you to everyone who has reached out to check in. It’s been a very intense week. I’m not retiring. After what I’ve endured in the past few days, I’m not ever allowing anything to stop me or almost take me from this ghetto ass earth.”
HipHopDX has reached out to CHIKA by phone and send her our support and love. Anyone struggling with suicidal thoughts, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at (800) 273-8255.