“Now I ain’t tryna be the greatest/I used to hate Hip Hop, yup, because the women degraded” — Lupe Fiasco, “Hurt Me Soul” (2006)
I love women. Some of the most beautiful souls on this earth whom I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing have been women. My grandmother. My cousin Jennifer. The same goes for my friends Jody, Jess, Kate, Alena and Rachel. They illuminate what it is to show compassion and allow a grown man to be vulnerable, while our society wants him to be as hard as concrete. And yet I listen to Hip Hop, my favorite genre of music, and I hear some of the self-proclaimed “hardest” men show vulnerability, and in the span of a few bars, spew misogyny.
When I was a teenager and first getting into Hip Hop, the words “bitch” and “hoe” didn’t bother me at all. I’m not proud of that, but that’s the way it was. It wasn’t that I had malice in my heart for women, or poorly related to girls in my school. In all honesty, I didn’t think anything of it more than I thought anything of T.I. rapping “I got a strong mind, to grab my chrome nine, and shoot yo ass for a long time.” They were just words in a song that I happened to like. Even when my dad brought it up to me in the car one day, upset at how I could listen to music that talked about “bitches and hoes,” I didn’t have an answer for him, but it didn’t bother my 16-year-old mind, either. I didn’t connect the lyrics in the song to actual women I knew, and it certainly didn’t impact the way I treated any of them. I suppose the anonymity of the name-calling was some sort of security blanket to my ears. It wasn’t anyone I knew, or anyone specifically at all, being called a bitch or a hoe. Like Chris Rock’s girl dancing to misogynistic Hip Hop would say in his HBO Never Scared stand-up special: “He ain’t talkin’ ‘bout me.”
Smack Her Witta Dick!
I also found it hypocritical, as I still do, for people who enjoyed misogyny in R-rated movies and other forms of entertainment to single out Hip Hop. Politicians, parents and anyone looking to pass the buck can throw stones at Hip Hop without having to worry about repercussions from a society that doesn’t look past the surface. And, from A Tribe Called Quest to Common, there have been many men in Hip Hop who glorify and respect women. There also have been many female MC’s, from MC Lyte to Queen Latifah to Lil Kim, who have been flag bearers for gender equality and who have called out misogynism by their male counterparts.
I refuse to condemn Hip Hop culture as a whole; that’s not even the feminist way.
As I got older, I began to build deeper and more meaningful relationships with women. I have buddies that say they can’t be friends with women without experiencing sexual or romantic feelings, but I’ve been able to separate the two. In college, I made friends with some of the best women on the planet. As anyone who has read my open letter to Kid Cudi knows, I’ve faced some difficult mental health issues, and these women were and are, as well as anyone has ever been, willing and able to help me through my struggles. Whether it was late-night phone conversations or just hanging out at their house, I truly valued their friendship.
It was around that time that misogyny in Hip Hop started to sting a little bit. At first, I didn’t realize why, but when I gave it some thought, I knew. It was my newfound friendships with amazing women. Now, I didn’t wake up one day and suddenly become a mature, well-rounded adult with a clear-eyed view on feminism. I was like many other guys in their early 20s, making stupid jokes about sex around my friends, pretending to be tougher than I was, and sometimes, just generally making an ass out of myself.
Misogynistic or Musical? Popular songs like French Montana’s 2012 hit “Pop That” blur the lines where suggestive language towards woman is deemed acceptable.
But life, like the best Hip Hop, has a way of keeping it real. I know who I am today: a nice guy who loves and respects women. I’m not perfect; I’ll still make the occasional stupid joke around my friends, or get mad if I feel my kindness is being taken advantage of. But I make an effort, now more than ever, to see if my views in relation to women are or aren’t the result of society’s sexist double standards. It’s a long, uncomfortable look in the mirror, but it’s worth it.
So, where does that leave me with Hip Hop? I enjoy various subgenres of Hip Hop, from hardcore rap to conscious Hip Hop, and smooth crossover joints in between. Much of the rap I like isn’t doesn’t bear a trace of misogyny. However, there are times when I’m enjoying a song by one of my favorite rappers and they’ll drop a line that makes me think, “Why did you have to go there?” However, there also are songs, such as Black Star’s “Brown Skin Lady,” that I cherish for their positive messages toward women. Several of today’s young elite rappers, like Kendrick Lamar, J. Cole and Chance the Rapper, have shown a sensitivity to women that is a beacon of hope. They’re far from saints, but when Chance raps on “All We Got”: “Man my daughter couldn’t have a better mother/If she ever find another, he better love her,” I want to jump up and cheer.
I’m no fool. I know that misogyny will be in Hip Hop as long as misogyny is in society because Hip Hop is a reflection of society, not the other way around. And like I said, I’m no crusader. But as I’ve grown, Hip Hop has grown with me. And as the genre continues to break new barriers, I’m hopeful that it can give birth to a new generation of prophets. Because it’s as true today as it was in ‘89: It’s Ladies First.
SMH, “ol girl with that trash accent” was Monie Love and she’s a pioneer for female Hip Hop as a whole.
Great article! You missed an opportunity to talk about some of the great female artists out there, though, both old and new school. Jean Grae, Queen Latifah, Lauren Hill, MC Lyte, Rah Digga, Eve, Rapsody, Snow tha Product, Apani B, Angel Haze, Roxanne Shante, Dessa, etc. Jean Grae, especially, is one of the best lyricists in the game, any gender.
Damn, nice list!! Glad to see the likes of Dessa and Snow tha Product are on there, not only the more well known artists like Lauren HIll, Latifah. And isn’t Apani B on Modal Soul by Nujabes? That’s all I know her from, but it’s a wonderful feature.
And agreed, Jean Grae is one of the very best
Thanks! Yeah, Apani B was on Modal Soul. In fact, that was how I first encountered her, but she’s been around for a while now. If you’re interested in listening to more of her, definitely check out the song “Shut da Fuck Up” that she did with Jean Grae. An underrated classic.
Great list, man. Lauryn Hill is by far my favorite; I only wish she’d put out more music. As for today’s scene, I like Dej Loaf and I’m hoping will come through on the promise she shows in several songs.
Also, my bad for posting a similar comment three times LOL. Post Comment button struggles LOL
Bitches ain’t shit but hoes and tricks
That was meant to go to Knowledge, not BigTrumpin’ whose comment is deplorable.
Yes Aaron McKrell, women are actually people and deserve respect, just as men do. Glad you have come to that realization now can you do some stories about female artists instead of this fluff?
As of press time, Ill Camille has the highest rated DX review of 2017. But you didn’t read that one now did you? Or what about our Cola White interview? Watch that one? Don’t puff your chest out without acknowledging that you’re contributing to them being ignored all the same.
This is to both Trent and Aaron. As I commented below, I believe that this is a great article, but the thing is, Greta has a very valid point, too. You are all coming at this issue from different angles. Aaron wrote an article in support of feminism, which, stupidly enough, is an ideology that half of the country are afraid of. This article, viewed in light of hip-hop’s (and other genres/media’s) problem with misogyny, is great because Aaron openly admits to being supportive of feminism and exhibiting a desire to become a better feminist.
On the other hand, Greta is right in that this is essentially a fluff piece that touches on a little of everything, but doesn’t delve very deep. I don’t think that she is saying that Aaron believes/believed that women aren’t people or do not deserve respect, but rather, ultimately, the conclusion of your article basically only says that “women are people and deserve respect.” A hard point to disagree with, but one that is so commonsense, it doesn’t really say much. I believe (and correct me if I am wrong, Greta) that what she wants is to see more substantive editorials about feminism and hip-hop. And personally, I agree. As I mention below in my comment, I think that this would have been a great opportunity to talk about great female artists. Hip-hop too often ignores female artists, so shedding more light on them would have been a good way to bookend the article. Maybe a piece for next time?
But again, not many people in hip-hop openly supports feminism, so I still thank you!
Thank you for a thoughtful comment, as opposed to mud-slinging. You made a lot of good points, but you’re missing one key component at the end of the piece: “And as the genre continues to break new barriers, I’m hopeful that it can give birth to a new generation of prophets. Because it’s as true today as it was in ‘89: It’s Ladies First.” It’s not just a pro-feminist statement, but a call to rappers to step up their game in this regard.
@Aaron, Greta and Knowledge. Great discussion all 3 of you. I respect and appreciate conversations like this that are handled respectfully, professionally and with no egos. It’s good to take something away from submissions like these. And Aaron, I see you! I’m beginning to be a big fan on your articles. Much love y’all!
Thank you for the kind words, man!
Thank you for a thoughtful comment. You made a lot of good points, but you’re missing one key component at the end of the piece: “And as the genre continues to break new barriers, I’m hopeful that it can give birth to a new generation of prophets. Because it’s as true today as it was in ‘89: It’s Ladies First.” It’s not just a pro-feminist statement, but a call to rappers to step up their game in this regard.
Trent: I think some real hard hitting articles about feminism – equality of the sexes – in hip hop could attract readers, that is why I clicked on this article, sad to say I was disappointed, and that is what started this discussion. Great discussions can in turn lead to great things, though. If the tide is changing, this is a good time to speak about the issues in broader terms with artists who are leading that change. I’m proud of Aaron and his personal journey, but even he admits in his last paragraph, he is no crusader. I am excited to read more articles from Hip Hop DX that delve deeper into feminism and hip hop.
I expected a comment like this. I’ll respond to one, and if there are more, they can be directed to this. Never did I once think women weren’t people or that they didn’t deserve respect. Admittedly, I once had a flawed attitude when it came to feminism and hip hop, as well as acted immaturely when I was younger. None of that means that I didn’t think women were people or that they didn’t deserve respect. If you had really read through the article you would have known that. Don’t assume or gloss over things before you comment, please.
Aaron, I think these articles are important as there are so many men in the industry who need to come to the realization that you have. It is a great chronicle of your personal journey, and I mean no offense to you, but I think maybe my issue is with the title of the article. Feminism is (and i encourage you to look up the definition for yourself) – advocacy of women’s rights based on equality of men and women – and this is not addressed in your article. I did read all the way through your article and I didn’t see feminism addressed – that is why I commented. I’d like to see a good journalist like yourself research and address feminism – real issues of equality – in hip hop. How can I make that happen?
What is your twitter handle? I would be glad to discuss it with you further.
@russell_greta
Apologies for repeat comments/comments in reply to the wrong person. Don’t know what the hell is going on with this reply button.
Feminism is bullshit. Aaron McKrell is a virtue signaling cuckold just like Trent’s bitch ass. Puppets for the liberal establishment. Feminism promotes hatred of men and western civilization. Fortunately it’s a dying movement. These “journalists” on Hip-hop BS are paid propagandists who are trying to poison hip-hop with radical leftist politics. We see through your schemes. America is abandoning your retarded worldview.
feminism was a great thing at first, nothing wrong with equality etc. unfortunatly, as usual, the movement was infiltrated and rotted from the inside by people like (((Emma Goldman))) who then started steering it towards a destructive, anti-white agenda. these days feminism has nothing to do with equality, they are simply lobbying for gay stuff (to lower white birth rates) and mass immigration from non-white countries into western world (white genocide, again). if you can see what the agenda is, it’s not hard to realize (((who))) is pulling their strings..
Much love and respect to the real woman an femcees like Sammus… “A man love his lady friend the most his wife the best but his mother the longest”
I thoroughly enjoyed reading this!! I love the growth you shared and your choice of delving into such topic. Bravo!!!! 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
I thoroughly enjoyed reading this!! I love the growth you shared and your choice of delving into such topic. Bravo!!!! 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾