L.A. Confidential: 6 Things Not To Do At A Secret Juicy J Show Hosted by Colt 45

On October 10, Colt 45 brought the blowout Three 6 Mafia star to a secret location (ahem, 333 Live) in L.A. for their “Keep It Colt 45” campaign, and as we made our way out to the venue what we found was indicative of the mad rush that envelopes a “secret” superstar Rap show. It’s a jungle out here, and some people were ill-prepared. Did you know someone at the door? Were you really  the model with the short black dress’ plus one? These situations can be harrowing reminders of your relative place in the world. 

As ambassador for Colt 45’s “Keep It Colt 45” campaign, Juicy J had already peformed in Chicago and Atlanta, two other places where the well connected fight it out for access like gladiators in the arena. So, L.A. was the next logical destination and the pecking order quickly revealed itself, especially with Lil Debbie and Fredo Santana as the openers. The people who pulled up in blacked out Range Rover’s probably didn’t wait very long, the line stretched down and around the block. Hopes were dashed, of course, but maybe it didn’t have to be that way. So here’s six things to not do to make sure you actually enjoy that secret rap show you wish to attend in the future.

Not Follow The Contest Rules or Have a Backup Plan 

Don’t be that person who thinks that their massive amount of Twitter followers entitle them to get into free, secret L.A. shows. Actually know the publicist, his or her favorite aunt/uncle, the venue owner, the person at the door etc. Whoever’s close to the action and can actually get you in the door is the favor you want to lean on. Oh, and then theirs the easy but far less glamorous way: follow the rules of whatever contest or giveaway or RSVP that gets you on the list. You may have to wait in line, but if you get there early you’ve got a pretty good chance. And just in case you’re unlucky, have a backup plan.

Do Not Post Up In The Back

After witnessing this show from atop, we realized the disadvantages of posting up in the back. The front of the stage is where all the action takes place. And by action, we mean free money. Fredo Santana started it off by pulling out a ziploc bag full of money and throwing bills into the crowd. Of course, money can only fly so far, as only the people in the front were able to retrieve them. Juicy J follows in his footsteps, as he giddily jumps and throws money into the air, with the track “So Much Money” in the background. So fitting. We later found out these bills were not 1’s, but 20’s.

Do Not Think Arriving Early Means Things Will Start On Time

Doors open at 9pm, show at 10pm. Any avid concert-goer knows that the main acts usually take their sweet time before getting on stage.  However, since this was a free show and no guaranteed entry, it was a race to make it before the cutoff. Once inside, there were rumors that Lil Debbie would be on at 10pm. These rumors were almost two hours off. Although the DJ did a good job keeping the crowd turnt, the restlessness increased as time kept passing with no movement on stage. At one point, the crowd started chanting “Juicy J” in hopes he would hear their cry for help.

Do Not Think Rap Shows Are Really OkCupid In Disguise 

Whether you are a female or a male.. this does not change the fact that there was a 10 to 1 guy to girl ratio at the show. We thought Juicy J was universal? We mean, he has a track with Katy Perry right? Maybe it was girl’s night, but… two words: sausage fest. Albeit it was a free show, maybe women assumed it would be too rachet? Either way, you won’t be finding the hubby or wifey here so let’s be clear, if you’re going to a Juicy J show to find the one, then you’re worried about the wrong things.

Do Not Expect People To Hold Back With The Gear

Of the women that were present, we were surprised their fathers let them out of the… No we’re not. The attitude was definitely “less is more” which meant cut offs up the wazoo. Which is great (it’s a Juicy J show after all) , but you have to be prepared if things get rowdy. Yes, we can all see your glorious ass cheeks. And, with the amount of testosterone in that room, your curve game must be on Kendrick Lamar’ bars levels. Look to our right, and we see a bunch of Lil Debbie lookalikes, with the tell-tale dark lipstick, crop top, high-waisted shorts, and high platform shoes, it’s crazy how much of an influence artists have on their fans. Which begs another point. Dudes, those women are not there to talk to you. Behave accordingly. 

Do Not Forget Juicy J’s Roots

 Juicy J’s roots, AKA his Three 6 Mafia days, still and will always stir strong within him. After playing the majority of his latest album Stay Trippy, as well as all his hit singles, Juicy always invokes his Memphis Three 6 moniker. It is the origin of this Southern rapper, a huge part of how his career set sail as a solo artist. Juicy always dedicates a good portion of his set to playing classics from the group such as “Poppin’ My Collar”. If you’re not familiar with Three 6, we suggest doing some homework beforehand, so you don’t look like such a huge fish out of water. He also mentioned his favorite Three 6 track was “Slob On My Knob”. And if you’re at a secret Juicy J show and you’re not down to to dig deep into your soul and be okay with that, then do you just go to shows you won’t like often? Especially and emphatically, don’t do that.