Continuing with our Love
Thirst Column [click for part one] with Jean Grae; we
have five more answers from the Blacksmith
emcee. Read on for Jean’s answers to
our reader’s sex, love and relationship questions.
Why do when you fight
with your girl she always feels like she has to win? – Element
Coffey,
Ha! Generally people want to win arguments. Otherwise there’s no vindication
for all the crap you’ve just talked vehemently. Takes some age, some wisdom and
some zen like characteristics to know when to shut the fuck up if it’s creating
tension and not getting the two of you anywhere. There’s an alternative to
arguing. It’s called discussing…it’s new. Maybe y’all need to just work
on your communication, there’s no need to fight like that. I know.. I been
through some heavy duty wack fighting. No one wants it. Be honest, care about
each other feelings, approach whatever the conflict is without a lot of
“you” talk. It always makes someone feel attacked. Try “we”,
“us”.. There’s a nicer way to handle things. If y’all can’t get it
together.. Hey… could be time to say peace out. Everyone ain’t right ALL the
time. Accepting THAT is a first step. Good luck.. – Jeannie
Whats
goin’ on Jean,
My name is Amir Richardson, and I come from the city of Philly, also known as
the city of brotherly love. My question isn’t too complicated. I don’t have a
problem with finding or talkin’ to women. My problem is that every time I come
across one the I am honestly interested in, she has a man or she just got out
of a relationship and don’t want to deal with another one. So my question is
this, what environments can I put myself in where there are a number of
confident, intelligent women that are single? Thank you for your
time………Peace – Amir
Amir (Not ?Love) from
Philly,
Confident, intelligent women… trust me… 40570275750287503705743% of them
are all single.. lol What kind of activities do YOU enjoy that you would
want to share with your mate? What kind of new things have you been wanting to
learn about or involve in your life at this point? Think about that and invest
some time delving in to them. It’s gonna be a usual thing that you want to
have compatible shared interests with the person you’re dating , so why don’t
you initiate it. Since you know about what you want more than anything
else.. There’s no 1 place that I’m gonna go, “yeah! check out the
supermarket! Or the library!!” Thats my 2 cents.. – Jeannie
What’s good Jean?
First and foremost good luck and congratulations on your up coming
project… much love and respect for you represent the essence of Hip Hop. With
that said…I’ve been really good friends with this girl for quite some time
now, and lately I’ve been getting hints and clues indicating that she’s more
into me than i thought. Being that we’re good friends like i said, I worry that
if I take advantage of my opportunity to sleep with her our friendship will end
because i simply don’t see myself in a relationship with her, I find her
physically attractive, I just know I’m not capable of providing the commitment i
know she’s lookin’ for…keep in mind I do want to sleep with her, but i
like our “friendship” the way it is, and would rather not complicate
it… – dmx2002
Hey there.. Well.. yeah, pretty much DON’T
DO IT. I do think you guys need to openly discuss it though. What’s with all
the non discussion these days? Not just discuss it, but don’t mince words
either. If she’s dropping hints like you say she is, I mean.. you say you have
an “opportunity to sleep with her”, that’s kind of funny.. Like a job
opening. I don’t think you should look at it like that, she’s still your
friend, right? Definitely don’t use that term if you’re going to discuss it..
LOL. There’s a more tactful way to say it. Tell her exactly like it is, you
have a physical attraction and its difficult to not want to be initmate with
her, but you’re not in the place in your life where you can offer her a
committed relationship. BUT DO NOT, oh lord I can’t stress this enough.. DO NOT
sleep with her repeatedly and give her the illusion that it could be more if
you know it’s not going to be. That’s just gonna bring everyone all sorts of
drama..
Or.. Find someone
who isn’t your friend to sleep with that you think is hot and don’t complicate
shit. word up.. – Jeannie
Aye Jean! Your pretty
much my favorite lyricist in the game! But gurl, I was chillin’ in Brooklyn
over the summer, and I ended up cheating on my boyfriend during our long
distance relationship. I ended up confessing to him six months later, and after a year of being together, we
broke up. I realize all the mistakes I’ve made, but how can I possibly come
back from that…like finding other people and having them trust me after they know about my past? This may be a different situation,
but I remember you apologized to someone on your track “P.S” for
cheating…its a tricky thing, a large part of me thinks I should have never
confessed to him. But anyway, I can’t wait for some new Jean Grae tracks.
Blacksmith all day! – Keisha
Keisha you ignorant
slut!!!
Kidding, kidding….
Okay, phew.. SO.. Long distance relationships can be testing, no doubt about
it. I have to say that I am never one to tell people to be deceptive. As just
myself, and as a Sag, honesty is the most important thing to me. I can take a
lot of things, but a liar isn’t one of them. I much more respect someone who is
willing to admit their faults, downfalls and weaknesses. Especially in an
intimate relationship. My motto is, “tell me what it is when it is so that
I am able to make my choices and proceed accordingly.” It’s a long motto,
lol, but very real. So, I think you were right in your decision to tell
him. As long as things are not done for the sake of just getting it off your
chest regardless of the other persons feelings, thats not very nice at all
Keisha. Whomever it is that you choose to be involved with, I urge you to be
honest about your past and your feelings about it. Its a really great feeling
to start out a relationship knowing that everyones cards are on the table, for
better or for worse and then keep it that way. Good luck Keisha.. –
Jeannie
Even though I’m an editor, since this isn’t a contest, I thought I’d
throw the hat in here with a question for the column… Here goes: What
is your take on relationships involving close friends? Good look, bad look,
pass? What sorts of
hints should a man or woman be looking for to get a glimpse if it’s mutual? Happy
Valentine’s Day Jean… oh, and, what can I do to hear “You Told Me”
again? That joint has me fiendin’ like Tyrone Biggums… most inspirational
song in years…I’ll deliver pizza to your door once a week for it, rain, sleet
or snow. No, but seriously… I hope it comes out on one of your projects this
year. Peace & Respect – Paine
Mr. Paine!
I remember you. Great interview, I always remember a man with a great porn
birth name. Muy excelente!!!! Well, I’m actually quite versed in your question. I
tend to get into relationships with those who have been close friends. I don’t
think it should be a generalized answer…except to say this. The relationship
you both have developed as friends should include a level of mutual respect for
each others’ feelings, wants, needs…just being decent human beings to each
other. That’s hard to find in general. Whatever the outcome may be after
it…uh… goes down…, make sure that you always maintain that respect and
friendship. It might take a while to regain back if the affair takes a turn for
the worse, but time heals all. Hopefully you are both comfortable and trusting
in each other that just voicing your feelings and concerns doesn’t make things
awkward. It’s your friend, be real, be honest… I don’t believe in hints…
Say how you feel. The chase is always nice though, some level of sexual tension
can always be an excitable thing, but don’t play games. Make sure its what you
want and then make it the truth. “You Told Me” is on Phoenix! I
do enjoy pizza…… – Jeannie
And once again, we wrap up another session of answers from
the lovely Jean Grae. If you weren’t
around last week or simply missed it, the first five answers can be found here.
Check back next week as we reveal 5 more answers!
