In 2010, the world of Hip Hop was shocked to learn that G. Dep confessed to the murder of a man during a botched robbery attempt dating back to 1993. Now, in a recent interview with New York Magazine, the former Bad Boy rapper talks about life in prison since his 15-years-to-life sentence.

Surprisingly, Dep said that he was “happy” with the conviction, explaining that living with the guilt of the murder was unbearable. He added that while he doesn’t believe that serving time over 17 years after the murder took place won’t bring his victim back, it was just something he had to do before he moved on in life.

“I was happy,” he said. “It sounds crazy to say you were happy about getting a fifteen-to-life sentence, but I was. It just seemed to me like the end of a nightmare. I was living in 1993 for seventeen years…It wasn’t something I was going through periodically; it was something that was like a knot at all times. Sometimes I didn’t even want to walk with my head up. I just wanted to look down. If I stood up, I felt funny, like, ‘Who am I to be looking up?’ ”

He added, “I don’t know how me being incarcerated—I can’t measure how much it makes anything any better. But I just know what I had to do.

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