“Guess who’s back in the muthaphukkin house!”
Yes! It is us! The ones they call “The Bad Guys” back in business for another round of WTF for the faithful readers of DX. Between Lil Wayne, Amy Winehouse and various other nonsense that went on the past few months in the industry, be sure that we have more than enough ammunition to keep you busy.
1) WTF? Who died and made Lil Wayne the greatest rapper alive? *reads note* Oh…Tupac and Biggie and Big Pun and Big L….I guess the rap game is like Survivor these days right?
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2) WTF are the odds on Lil Wayne Vs Amy Winehouse overdosing? With their rampant use of various shit that can and will kill you, who will die first? My bet is that they’ll both overdose at the same time.
3) WTF is up with Young Buck? How you gonna blast 50 and G-Unitknowing you were just pleading with 50 over the phone and he’s got dirt on you. Even if the shit is a year old, you know 50 ain’t gonna let you slide. Man…you just got made out to be a sucka.
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4) WTF is up with Al Sharpton and him being so surprised when reports of his “shakedowns” finally surfaced. People do wanna know how you keep a nice car and house. You’re like Tommy from Martin – Don’t nobody know what you do because you ain’t got no job maaaaan!
5) WTF kind of hater is Jesse Jackson? Castrating Obama is some serious shit that ought to get you smashed in your grill by Michelle. You and Al are some characters.
6) WTF is the big deal with Ice-T and Soulja Boy? He told him to eat a dick. So what? He wasn’t a baby when he “Supermanned” a hoe, but he’s too young to be told to eat a dick?
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7) WTF happened to constructive criticism and why is it when you disagree with anything it’s called “hating?”
8) WTF is the deal with Terrance & Rocsi? Was it a lover’s quarrel? Is Rocsi sick of Terrance dissing her at every turn? Was Rocsi PMS-ing? Bring back AJ & Free!
9) WTF happened to Free anyway?
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10) WTF are Nick Cannon and Mariah Carey still doing married? Isn’t the joke over yet?
11) WTF is the big deal with Shaq asking Kobe how his ass tastes? You can lose your honorary deputy badge because of that? How about president because I’m sure Obama asked Hillary how his ass tasted.
12) WTF happened to Cam’ron? If anybody has seen him in his purple mink or heard him or his Courtesy Curtis album, please call the where’s my career hotline at 1-800-4Dip-Set (50 Cent will NOT be recording this call).
13) WTF is up with Busta Rhymes and his weight? He’s got that Luther Vandross thing jumping off. Which Busta do you prefer? Fat, buff or skinny?
14) WTF is Rick Ross thinking when he performs with no shirt on? C’mon dude…I just threw up in my mouth a little bit.
15) WTF? When did Common become a sex symbol and who would have thought he would have gotten this far ten years ago? I bet he’s thanking Erykah for removing her voodoo shit off of him.
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16) WTF Ms. Badu. Another baby by another rapper? You heart rappers like Yayo hearts Curtis!
17) WTF? After seeing the sales of T.O.S. and the rise of Weezy – Is it just me or is the 50 Cent era over? And doesn’t his diss toward T.I. seem just a bit desperate for attention?
18) WTF kind of bulletproof lease on life does R. Kelly have? Never has someone been so gotdamn guilty and walked off. Ah well…I’m sure he and OJ are sipping tea and having a chuckle as we speak.
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19) WTF was the deal with R Kelly’s team using the “Little Man” defense? Citing Marlon Wayans foolish movie (the one where he’s a midget that looks utterly ridiculous) and trying to use that to say that you can doctor a video to make it look real? Geezus Christ! But he still got off people!!! Johnny Cochran‘s spirit is with Kelly.
20) WTF did Keak Da Sneak smoke that caused his voice to be 10 times scratchier than The Game‘s?
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21) WTF is up with Game and his constant suicidal demeanor? Should we take him seriously? Or is it a marketing ploy to sell more records? Like if he says “If I don’t outsell G-Unit I’m gonna kill myself,” will you rush to the store to purchase L.A.X.?
22) WTF is wrong with Superhead (Karrine Stefans…but we prefer Superhead) when she makes claims that “Eddie Winslow” from Family Matters tried to kill her? First of all, he has a real name. Secondly, WTF are you doing hanging out with Eddie Winslow? What’s his real name anyway?
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23) WTF is the deal with black women NEVER getting starring roles around their male counterparts. Will Smith got Charlize Theron in Hancock, Denzel had Eva Mendez in Training Day and Eddie Murphy has Elizibeth Banks on Meet Dave. Couldn’t Kerry Washington or Nia Long been in any of those roles? I’m just sayin!
24) WTF happened to Hip Hop. No disrespect to Lil Wayne, but how the hell can he sell over 1 million copies of the Tha Carter 3 and The Roots can’t even get a sniff of 200k? Even Kanye has got to be a little salty that Weezy outsold him and Kanye got sales just because people dislike 50!
25) WTF finally made Nas realize how great of an emcee he is and take a calculated risk that paid off with his Untitled album?
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There you have it gotdammit! Agree with us if you want. Diss us if you
dare. We could care less! We all got some E-Thuggin in us these days
right?
Give a shout to your favorite gotdamn Editor-In-Chief on my myspace page…
We now return you to your regularly brainwashed lives,
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