Guess who’s bizzack? Indeed, the 3rd Annual Turkey Awards are in effect and ready to hand out some wonderful awards to those who tickled us with their often idiotic actions (Click Here for the inaugural awards and Click Here for the 2nd annual). You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll laugh until you cry and obviously you’ll call us haters. But once again, ask the HipHopDX staff if we give a flying monkey shit what you say about us. Go ahead…we’ll wait. You know the drill – if you don’t like it, you can kiss our rainbow coalition of asses (They vary from black as a lump of burnt coal to baking soda white FYI).
The Turkey Award For “Worst Album Title For A Fat Guy”…
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Fat Joe’s upcoming Elephant In The Room
The Turkey Award For “I’m Mad Because I’m Not Relevant Anymore…Except To Women Who Buy My Records To Faux Fuck Me *Licks Lips*”...
LL Cool J for dissing Jay-Z
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The Turkey Award For “I Love Knuckle Sandwiches” award…
Prodigy from Mobb Deep. How many times is this cat gonna get his ass kicked?
The Turkey Award For “You Have Been Tangled In My Web Of Ignorance & You’ll Dance To It”…
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Soulja Boy. But who can be mad at him? He’s a kid. It’s you grown fools I’m ashamed of
The Turkey Award For “Looking Like A Female Rapper From The 90s...
Hurricane Chris (Da Brat) with honorable mention going to Lil Kim (Lil Kim)
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The Turkey Award For “I’m even less gracious in defeat than I am in victory”…
50 Cent for getting “massacred” by Kanye West
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The Turkey Award For “I Just Keep Making The Same Damn Album”…
Fabolous for whatever this new album is called that sounds like the last one
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The Turkey Award for “I Disappeared Because My Album Didn’t Sell Like I Said It Would”…
The Game…who’s not here to accept his award.
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The Turkey Award For “You Thought I Was A Reformed Ho After My First Book But I’m Still A Ho”
Karrine “Superhead” Steffans who can’t accept her award because she is probably sucking a dick right now
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The Turkey Award For “Fuck Singing…I’ma Do Porn”…
Ray J who can’t accept his award because he is probably letting Superhead suck his dick right now (while T-Pain admires his “meat”)
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The Turkey Award For “Just Fuck And Get It Over With”…
Lil Wayne and Baby for all the gossip about them being gay
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The Turkey Award For “As Long As You Allow Me To Keep Doing This Bullshit, I Will”…
R. Kelly for Trapped In The Closet DVD
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The Turkey Award For “Damn I fucked off my whole career” award…
(tie) T.I. & Michael Vick. Actually T.I. might sell more records now. Hip Hop I tell ya…
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The Turkey Award For “Best Unwanted Walgreens Promotion”…
T.I. for putting Walgreens on the map when he got arrested
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The Turkey Award For “Best Arsenal”…
T.I. – did you see all the shit this fool had? Who did he have beef with? The U.S. government?
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The Turkey Award For “Dumbest Threat Ever”…
Cassidy for doing an interview where he told Jay-Z it would not be “a smart decision” to have the “American Gangster” album come out the same day as his album
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The Turkey Award for “Worst Tribe Fan Club President”…
Lupe Fiasco for his flubbed lyric turned overexposed story
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The Turkey Award for “The Gimmick Is Up, No One Cares Anymore”…
Yung Joc, Mike Jones, Paul Wall
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The Turkey Award for “What Do I Actually Do?”
DJ Khaled for whatever the fuck it is he does so well
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The Turkey Award For “Grinding A Hole In A Pastor’s Daughter”…
Akon for his sexual simulation with a teenager on stage
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The Turkey Award For “Worst beef…Ever”…
Timbaland Vs Scott Storch – need we say more?
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The Turkey Award For “I Didn’t Know It Would Make People THAT Mad”…
Nas for naming his album “Nigga”
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The Turkey Award For “I Wasn’t A Racist Until YouTube Caught Me” (aka the Michael Richards Award)…
Dog The Bounty Hunter
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The Turkey Award For “I Love Myspace Blogs More Than Life Itself”…
Saigon for all the shit he’s caused using myspace
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The Turkey Award For “Best Unofficial Lil Wayne Hype Man”…
Gillie Da Kid for all the shit he talked about Wayne but nobody seemed to care
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The Turkey Award For “Most Guest Appearances Ever Without A New Album”…
Lil Wayne for his millions of guest spots
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The Turkey Award For “I Had One Song Now I’m Rich Bitch”…
Jim Jones for profiting and becoming a star off of “We Fly High” and nothing else
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The Turkey Award For “He Had One Song And They Forgot About Me”…
Juelz Santana after watching Jim Jones get rich
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The Turkey Award For “Thanks For Fuckin’ Up The Game”…
T Pain…now everyone from Snoop Dogg to Lil’ Wayne is on that talk box bullshit
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The Turkey Award For “Best Use Of A Motel 6 Pool For A YouTube Clip”…
Cam’ron…as if posting up in your boxers wasn’t bad enough? You Ethered yourself
Well there it is kids. I’m sure some of you are firing up those fingers to type some really hateful shit. Go ahead…entertain us. Even if we dissed your favorite rapper, keep in mind, they’re just jokes kids. It ain’t like we’re lying right? Right? Until next year…
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Thanks And Back To Your Regularly Scheduled Brainwashed Lives,
Management
