Jidenna is repenting for the way he used to treat the women in his life, admitting he robbed some of them of “their baby-making years.”
The conversation occurred on the premiere episode of the podcast, What’s Underneath: Masculinity, published on Thursday (November 9).
“I robbed some women of their baby-making years, dragging them along. They built me up,” he began. “Look at me now! And look at them! If you were a creative, I folded you into my artwork. If you were in my artwork, I gave you a job. I gave you a job, I mastered your life. I gave you a house, food. Everything you needed, I protected and provided for you. I did what men are ‘supposed’ to do.”
He continued: “I remember different quotes I said. Just really manipulative things like, ‘No one is gonna love you the way I do.’ Oh my god! I’m ashamed of it! and that’s what makes me angry when I see my brothers do that. We can’t do that to the women who have done so much for us to even exist. And I saw myself for the first time — all the things I’m saying now? Woo, horror.
“Bit by bit I stripped myself of my former self and I swore that the next relationship that I would get in, I would work as hard at love as I have worked in my career,” he concluded.
Watch the full episode below:
Upon releasing his album ME YOU & GOD in May, Jidenna spoke to HipHopDX about the inspiration behind the deeply romantic and sexually-charged lovefest. In the midst of his time freely engaging with multiple women, the singer fell in love with a “beautiful companion” who went on to become one of the main protagonists of the album and a key ingredient of his songwriting.
“I literally met a woman who I knew instantly that I was gonna ride with her, she was gonna be a companion, and we were gonna ride the saddle, you know? I just knew it,” he recalled. “So that process, from going from an amazing hoe phase in 2019 to 2020 where I’m trying to date a little more intentionally, then landing with this beautiful companion. It was what I was going through [that inspired the album].”
Asked whether he’s still seeing the woman who helped inspire the album, Jidenna laughed and replied: “Oh yeah. Thank God I am. This would be a tough rollout if I weren’t.”
Among the topics explored on ME YOU & GOD is polyamory — a form of ethical, or consensual, non-monogamy that involves having romantic or sexual relationships with multiple partners at the same time — which is something Jidenna has practiced in the past.
On the track “SWEETBiTTERS,” he has an open and honest conversation with the woman he loves about a previous triad polyamory relationship, which starts because he smells the lingering perfume of an ex in his building’s elevator.
While some opposed his opinions on non-monogamous relationships back in 2019, a lot of people appeared to be onboard with his outlook on sexual liberation and the non-traditional union. But “SWEETBiTTERS” wasn’t made in response to that; it was Jidenna displaying growth, showing unbridled honesty and realizing he needed to lay it all out there in order for his current relationship to thrive.
“I was in an elevator and I could smell the perfume of one of the women I had been with; it was very specific,” he explained. “And so I went into the apartment and talked to the woman who would eventually be my partner now, and I told her the story. I was like, ‘I haven’t told you the full story and I need to tell you what it was like for me in my last polyamorous triad, or triplo, whatever you wanna call it.’”