Last night Comedy Central paid homage to the Hip Hop world’s most famous hype-man turned reality TV star, Flavor Flav. The roast, hosted by the hilarious Katt Williams and DJed by a now pleasantly plumper Spinderella, was conducted by Jimmy Kimmel, Ice-T, Snoop Dogg, Sommore, and many others. After Flav (donning a purple suit, crown, yellow-gold fronts and requisite clock necklace) flew onto the stage with the help of some invisible cable rope, the evening began. With the exception of Carrot Top and Bridgette Nielson completely flopping (hey, at least Nielson isn’t a professional comedian), the side-splitting hour and a half was filled with lines that would have you near tears in laughter…without giving away the whole show, here are some of the most memorable disses:
“This is impossible…how do you embarrass a crackhead that wears a viking helmet??” — Jeff Ross
“You are one black muthafucka…you’re like a skeleton wrapped in electrical tape….you look like Idi Amin after a 3-year crack binge on the sun” — Greg Giraldo
“Bridgette Nielson…I’d like to make this the first time I ever thanked a White woman for taking a Black man off the market….Bitch, if you fucked Flavor Flav, you don’t got jungle fever, bitch, you got Ebola!” — Sommore
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“Not only are you dark, but you’re skinny….you look like how Magic Johnson should look…” — Sommore
“Sommore…when it comes to movies maybe you should do ‘some less’…Soul Plane??…holy shit…that was such a horrible embarrassment to Black people Bridgette Nielson tried to fuck it” — Greg Giraldo
Though the crowd was filled with loved ones from Flav‘s past and present (his mom, children, the cast of the various reality shows Flav was a part of etc); one glaring absence was Chuck D (and to our knowledge the rest of the the Public Enemy crew). Besides a brief, prerecorded skit at the beginning of the show, Chuck was nowhere to be found. But as comedian Patton Oswalt pointed out, “Chuck D wanted to be here tonight…but the ‘D’ stands for Dignity.”
Ouch.
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If you missed it Click Here for a list of re-airing times.
