Following a heartfelt speech delivered just after the announcement that a twelve-member Grand Jury declined to indict police officer Darren Wilson for the killing of unarmed teen Michael Brown, Killer Mike spoke with Noisey about his feelings immediately after hearing the news. Killer Mike spoke not only about his own history as an activist fighting for justice, but also about his own personal fears for the safety of his children.
Speaking about his reaction to the news of a non-indictment decision, Mike said simply, “I was crushed.”
“The most honest thing I can tell you is that I was crushed,” he said. “It was my wedding anniversary. I’m on a tour bus—which is already not ideal but my wife is there thankfully and we’re just kicking it and trying to have the best time we can. And then the news comes and it’s like, shit. You just don’t know man. [tearing up.] Your grandparents tell you about Emmett Till. As a kid you see Rodney King. And now, as a father, you see this kid. A fucking 12-year-old kid is dead. A guy is shot in New York walking up a flight of stairs and the first thing the newscaster says is that he’d been arrested 24 times. Man, what does that matter? Dude wasn’t in the commission of the crime there. It just, man. It hurts, man. The shit just hurts. My wife. [choking up] I’m a husband. I’m a man’s man. I’m an alpha male. There’s nothing about my wife and children that should say ‘I’m afraid’ because my father and my husband is there to protect me. But when your wife looks at you and just says, ‘Man, you gotta wonder if God even loves you.’ No man should have that.”
Addressing how the news affects his own family and personal life, Killer Mike addressed his fears for his own children with regards to their interactions with police.
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“Having to explain to a 17-year-old that the policeman isn’t going to be brought to accountability for it,” he said. “I’m having to explain to a seven-year-old girl what this is about. Then I still have a 20-year-old and a 12-year-old son. I’m supposed to teach them to interact with the police and make it through those encounters alive. My child should be worrying about her dance class and her sister’s dance recital. I shouldn’t have to be preparing my children that the world is going to be unfair to them for the rest of their lives.”
The Run the Jewels emcee added on, admitting that he fears for the safety of his son and touched on his own persistent fears of being persecuted by police.
“We’ve all done stupid stuff,” he said. “My son’s a skateboarder. My son’s a black skateboarder, though. So my fear is he can be killed by a cop. You don’t understand what it means for a 70-year-old black man to be driving and for his heart to race at a cop getting behind him. My white friend who brought me to St. Louis drove us yesterday. They drove us to the airport, my wife and I, thankfully, just to get away from the bus. They sped the whole way. The entire way. They did U-turns, they drove the wrong way down one-ways. They didn’t have one single worry about a cop. My wife and I worry about the cops when we drive by them going the speed limit. You get what I’m saying?”
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