T.I.‘s latest arrest, for violating probation in Los Angeles, has the emcee rethinking his choices and realizing that he’s tired of jail, according to a recent blog he wrote. In a message to fans, Tip explained that being locked up again has been an awakening experience. 

“This experience is truly a pain I have never felt before and that’s saying a lot for a nigga who’s been down locked up as many times as I have,” he wrote. “I don’ t know what effect this will have on my life moving forward but I’m certainly sick and mother fucking tired of going to jail, juve, prison, the pen, correctional facilities or whatever else you want to call it. I’d have been better off doing a 5-10 year bid one time than going in time and time again for days, weeks and months for the last 15 years of my life.”

Later, he noted that his new motivation for freedom has become himself.

“Even though it’s been a long road, I’m still standing, barely but nevertheless still standing. At one time I thought my motivation for continuing was for my fans, my partna Philant, my pops, my grandmama, even for the haters or the people I let down. But nah… I got to do this shit for me!”

In order to provide some insight into his mind, he also added that this life has been all that he’s known but he hopes to make a change for his children.

“A lot of folks had fathers or father figures in the house to raise them into manhood. I’m not trying to make any excuses for my situation but my father was a hustler that lived in New York. My uncle was a local big time dope boy turned 10 year federal inmate. My mother and grandparents did the best they could but I found my manhood in the trap and in prison systems. But I found it. And nan one of mine will ever have to feel the cold tight grip of a handcuff or grace the presence of a jail cell if I can help it. Over my dead body!”