EXUMAS, BAHAMAS

The epic failure that was the Bahamas Fyre Festival has been international news all day and headliner Ja Rule is stepping out in front of the hail of e-fire bullets to shoulder some of the blame.

In a Twitter post that appears to be the statement before the actual statement, Jeffrey Atkins explained how he was attempting to make sense of the situation, which left attendees and tourists with nothing but disaster tents for shelter and slices of bread with processed cheese and dressing-less salad for nourishment.

“We are working right now on getting everyone [off] the island SAFE that is my immediate concern,” the rap star turned overnight disaster relief agent began. “I will make a statement soon I’m heartbroken at this moment my partners and I wanted this to be an amazing event it was NOT A SCAM as everyone is reporting I don’t know how everything went so left but I’m working to make it right by making sure everyone is refunded… I truly apologize as this is NOT MY FAULT… but I’m taking responsibility I’m deeply sorry to everyone who was inconvenienced by this…”

While Ja’s words appeared to be heartfelt, calling the fallout from the event an “inconvenience” may be attempting to soften the reality of the situation. Not only did bad weather conditions add to the lousy living situations of unassembled tents and no power, but attendees uploaded photos of their luggage being mishandled, adding to the chaos.

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The Fyre Festival social media accounts have been exercising heavy damage control, with the official Instagram account shuttering the comment function on its images, while the Twitter account has been scrubbed of any tweets aside from apologies and excuses.

As for Ja Rule, he’d better get a flameproof publicist sooner rather than later. And expect another story from us if 50 Cent gets wind of this.